This is the latest segment we would like to call "Fight Terrorism" In response to recent warnings of chemical attack the U.S. government has warned citizens to buy duck tape and plastic sheeting. Steveo and I felt that it was imperative for us to purchase these items in order to seal up travers 413 during the event of a foreign substance trying to enter our room. Now don't get me wrong this is a very serious topic. In reality you should try to protect yourself because unfortunately that is the type of world we live in today. In our opinion, we just don't feel that plastic wrap and duck tape is the panacea for chemical attack. Quite frankly we think it is going to take a little more than that.... But none the less we followed the suggestions from the government and we feel you should do the same. Steveo and I went through a quick simulation to see if we could handle the application of plastic sheets and duck tape. Here are the results
Well after an attempt to put up the plastic sheets we soon realized that it would be a long process and very difficult to properly seal...so we went for direct protection. In the first picture you can clearly see that I said heck with protecting the windows, let me protect myself! Just a few more plastic sheets and I'm ready for anything. They are also very stylish and seem to go with jeans or khakis.
In the next picture Steveo gave up with sealing up windows and decided to just duck tape himself to the chair in order to prevent himself from running around like a nut. He's got his snapple attached to one hand and the TV selector in the other. He is all ready to prevail through any ordeal. This seems to be the best use for the duck tape. If anything does happen Steveo is assured that he will remain calm, drink his tea, and watch CNN.
Now we know what the government suggest you keep in your room in case of an attack, but this is our suggestion. After living in college for months we have learned what quickly clears the nasty air our of your room. An industrial sized fan and extra strength febreze. As you can see from the picture Steveo is much more confident holding these two items. Simply place the fan at the window and pump the febreze into the back. This seems to work very well after we order Chinese, and I don't know what chemical is stronger than the left over stench of pork fried rice.
Ok back to the duck tape. Now if you live here at TCNJ I'm sure you can relate to this part. How many Fu Wah menus have you gotten while living here on campus! It is mind boggling. It seems like every day there is a fresh Fu Wah menu slipped under my door. Ok listen Fu Wah is good and I enjoy Chinese food, but for crying out loud enough with the menus. I can wallpaper my entire wall with these darn things. But have no fear, because your multi purpose duck tape will take care of this. Just look at what Steveo and I put on the bottom of our door. "No Fu Wah" written with duck tape. Now this is no scientific experiment but so far we have not received any more menus under our door. Now is this working you ask? probably not....but we will keep our fingers crossed.
Finally it is also a good idea to keep a small survival kit with you with a 3 day supply of food and water. Now this is the suggestion once again by the government so Steveo and I prepared our kit. As you can see from the picture we set aside a bag of potato chips, beer, and a playboy magazine. We figured these were the 3 essentials to any man's survival. The heck with water...if anything we will add a few twinkies.
All in all we feel we are prepared for any type of chemical attack. Now we tried to ease the fear of this serious situation with a little humor. We are not trying to be disrespectful of any of the precautions suggested for the American people. We feel people should laugh and enjoy life and go on with their normal business. So go buy your duck tape and plastic sheets and good luck. We would also like to extend our thanks and prayers to the men and women who are serving to protect our country both at home and overseas. God bless
